Mission to be happy

As many of you have heard, I've decided to run a half marathon for charity. Funny enough, after that last one, I wasn't sure I was going to physically be able to run another one in my life. Nothing like a good personal challenge, eh? Add a dash of self-less charity, and you've for a greater sense of purpose in life.

I've spent a good chunk of my life complaining about, blaming, and hating this or that. I've been pretty fortunate human being. I have had my share of hardships, but overall, I've had a generally good life.

Lately, however, that hasn't been enough. After the loss of my grandmother, I haven't been able to find my groove again. I'm still doing the job I love, with my awesome friends, in a great city. So why has my happiness level decreased so drastically? More importantly, how do I get it back? So, I began searching for some information, some meaning.

I'm reading a book called the Undefeated Mind by Alex Lickerman MD . It's based on Nichiren Buddhism. While I'm only a third of the way through it, there is something about the message that is ringing deep in my soul. The chapter I'm reading right now is about defining a personal mission. Lickerman says that a mission is a "goal that defines the reason it exists." It being whatever: a military operation, a company, or a person.

Lickerman shares my same view: a person's mission (function, raison d'être) is simple: TO BE HAPPY. And yes, it sounds a little selfish. But from what I've found in my personal experience, it's not. I'll explain.

What I've discovered in the first few chapters of this book is that we all have a set level of overall contentment with which we begin our lives. The book has this to say about it: " 'The set-point theory of happiness suggests that our level of subjective well-being is determined primarily by heredity and personality traits ingrained in us early in life and as a result remains relatively constant throughout our lives.' "
Basically, the author is trying to say that we have a bank account of happiness with a set total limit. So, you can add and subtract happiness to the bank with work, personal relationships, exercise, etcetera.

But how do you increase your overall limit? That's where the branch of Buddhism comes in. In addition to some sociology research, it's been determined that the most effective way to raise your lifelong happiness level is to help others.

The book goes on to say: "Only in taking care of ourselves first do we then become capable of taking care of others." Why else would the flight attendants instruct you to first secure your own oxygen mask before helping the person next to you? When you have met all of your own needs, you are in a better place to serve the needs of others.

I spent the majority of the past year making sure my oxygen mask was on correctly. The next step was trusting that oxygen was flowing even though the bag didn't inflate. My next step is to help the person next to me. I received the flier for Team SeriousFun less than a week after running my princess half marathon. At that point, I wasn't entirely sure I'd be able to run anymore. And out of nowhere, the universe presents me with an opportunity. A network of professionals who run and raise money for children. These children are very sick, and this network of people helps remind them what it's like to be kids. Imagine a childhood where you can't play with your friends outside, or make silly arts and crafts out of noodles. Imagine if your concept of fun was deciding what juice to take with your antibiotics.

I know I tend to take a lot of aspects of my life for granted. Things seem pretty cushy when you're relatively healthy and able to work a job you love. I get caught up in petty problems. This cause is waking me up. I can deal with the loss and hardships of life because they are nothing compared to what these kids are going through. My childhood wasn't perfect, but it was relatively normal and I turned out just fine. SeriousFun kids don't have those kinds of odds. They count each day as a victory. Playing games and having fun? Not a chance. Everyone of them deserves a chance to kick back and raise a little hell. The SeriousFun camps give the kids the support they need for their medical issues while allowing them to have fun and just be kids. There are 30 camps worldwide dedicated to helping enrich the lives of children. The camps also provide a support system for the parents and families, to help remind them that the struggle isn't theirs alone. They have the support and their kids have the fun.

My running the first half marathon was me taking care of myself. Now I need to help take care of others. I've found my purpose.

Please check out my page! Any donation helps send a child to camp/me to my next half marathon!
http://www.teamseriousfun.org/dublin13/halm

And also, check out this video from Team SeriousFun!
http://www.seriousfunnetwork.org/seriousfun-website/get-involved/a-message-from-clea-newman-daughter-of-paul-newman

I feel very passionate about this charity and I'm proud to be a part of something bigger than myself.

Keep Going

I tend to be a media over-sharer. I'm not going to lie, but it (Facebook, Twitter, etc) really helps me stay connected and feel involved. My love affair with social media has been a way to distribute information. All information. So, if we're friends, followers or LinkedIn, you may have heard that I recently lost my grandmother. She meant the world to me. We traveled, laughed, flirted, and embraced life together. We were kindred spirits, shared the same zest for life and interest in story-telling. Whether it was shaking it to a reggae band, or flirting with the TSA agent, country music star, or truck stop cowboy, she lived life with total abandon and without regret.

 

Last Monday, she lost her 3 year battle with cancer. As someone bluntly put it: we got 2.5 years longer than anyone expected. And boy was it a full 2.5 years. She was quite the fighter. Grammy was determined to continue living even though the doctor gave her a Stage 4 death sentence. She went on to flirt her way around Branson Missouri, dance her way into hearts of Jamaican hotel employees, celebrate her great grandkids' milestones, and inspire many people, myself included. The diagnosis was bleak in January of 2010. But Grammy decided she wanted to keep going. She wasn't done here. How simple. And effective.

A lot of people think there's a secret formula for success. Or that some people can succeed and others can't. I'll tell you the secret: Keep Going. It sounds so simple and yet it's one of the hardest things to do at times.

One application was during my half marathon. My friend Ariel had mentioned a mental strategy to keep pushing forward: Dedicate a mile to someone. That way, it increases your desire to complete it. That mile (or miles in my case) become more important because they aren't just for you anymore. So, I dedicated a good portion of my 13.1 miles to Grammy. And I kept going.

So now, after losing someone so important, I have to keep going. There isn't any other option. I mean, I COULD curl up in bed with a jar of Nutella and season 3 of Pretty Little Liars, but that would defeat all of the progress I've made in changing my lifestyle and creating a path to health and fitness. How do you deal with such incredible loss if escape and depression are options that are taken off the table? You keep going. Keep lacing up your shoes and hitting the pavement. Keep practicing your wobbly Half Moon pose. Keep eating clean and avoiding processed foods. What would Grammy want me to do? No question needed. Keep going, of course.

The key to success is persistence. Slowly, but surely. How many fables, proverbs, and inspirational quotes have you heard regarding water or turtles or persistence? A ton, I bet. “In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins; not through strength, but through perseverance.” The time is going to pass anyway, so why not keep going? Keep working towards your goal. It's a lot harder than it sounds. The easy way out is to give up. But giving up means failure, and for me, failure is not an option. This is my life were talking about, right? So I have to keep going. That's what Grammy would do.